For Her Smile
by Lady Callista
Summary: As the Winter War rages around him, Ichimaru Gin reflects on memories of the woman he loves. And as his part in the war ends, he must make Hitsugaya understand why she can never know the truth. Ran/Gin Series: Prequel to "After The Winter War."
1. First

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I am making no money from this. I also do not own any of the quotes I use in any chapter.

This story is a prequel to my "After The Winter War" series.

Author's Notes: This story will contain spoilers for the latest chapters of the manga, well, sort-of. If you know…um…how to say this… if you know how and why Ichimaru Gin dies then you're good. Although I change the circumstances quite a bit to fit my series. I had long suspected something similar to what happened, and did indeed write my series with that possibility in mind. So now I can write the story I've wanted to write, although things will happen very differently so it's not really much of a spoiler. I figure my stories follow the storyline up to around the point where the ring of fire around the three ex-taicho goes out, and from then on it's all me. (As such, I don't describe too much of the fighting, but refer to certain points and assume my readers will know what's going on. I apologize to those of you who are not up to date.) I refuse to copy how the Winter War is ending in the manga, and have come up with a new (and I hope interesting and believable) way for things to work out. It's also given my muse the kick in the butt she needed to start helping me again, cause I can tie this in with the IchiHime story in my series that I've tried to write the next chapter of over a dozen times and kept deleting. No, I'm not dead. No, I have not stopped writing fanfic. I've just had the mother of all writer's blocks. I'm hoping that within a few weeks, when I'm done with this story, that the next chapter of "I'll Stand By You" will finally be written.

Okay, now, this piece jumps around between memories of the past and the present, so to make you less confused: the "present" is in normal text, anything in the past that is being remembered is in italics. Also, I've got lots of song quotes cause I love doing quotes and there were some awesome ones for this. They are in normal text, but obviously separated from the story. Apologies to those who don't like quotes in their stories. Here goes nothing….

* * *

For Her Smile

By Lady Callista

Chapter 1: First

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more

I would fight for you - I'd lie for you

Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true

Everything I do - I do it for you."

from "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

He stood calmly within the circle of fire.

The two men he'd been conspiring with for over 100 years stood just as calmly, with the eyes of the one shifting constantly to watch the battle that raged beyond them.

But he didn't care about the battle. His thoughts weren't racing ahead to what would happen soon. He wasn't already basking in the glow of an assured victory, as he was sure his two companions were. No, rather than being in the future, or in the here and now, his thoughts were completely in the past.

Except for one reiatsu in the here and now that he was keeping track of.

For that one reiatsu was the reason he stood on this side of the fire. That one reiatsu was the reason for everything he had done for over one hundred years. And if it faded and died, then everything he had done had been for nothing.

Ichimaru Gin stood calmly while his thoughts flew through the past, remembering the first time she'd smiled at him.

And wishing that there was a way for him to see her smile one last time.

* * *

Part 1: Smile (First)

OoOoOoOoOoO

Light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear, may be ever so near, that's the time, you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you'll just... Smile

from "Smile" by Judy Garland (at least that's the one I know, I believe lots of singers have done this song, not sure if she was first or not.)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

They had both looked like children, of course, but Gin had already been in Rukongai for almost twenty-five years when he first met Rangiku.

He barely had a single memory from those twenty-odd years, because they hadn't mattered once he'd met her. Still, bits and pieces came back to him at the oddest times.

He knew that he had always been different from the other children. He knew that no one had ever really liked him, and he knew that he didn't really have feelings in the way that other people did. It was like all his emotions were numb, because there was no reason to live and nothing mattered anyway.

An image of her the first day he'd met her, the day that had meant so much to him that he'd made it her birthday so that they would always celebrate it, floated past his mind's eye.

He'd given a girl a fruit, thinking that if she was hungry like he always was then she must have the same power he did. Maybe she would like him. Maybe she wouldn't think he was crazy.

And then she'd looked up at him shyly as she finished belting down the persimmon.

Understanding what she didn't ask, he'd told her he knew where there was more food.

And the girl who'd later told him her name was Rangiku had looked up at him, and smiled a beautiful smile that had lit up her entire face.

He had decided right then and there that there was something to live for after all.

For something in her smile had sparked an emotion in him for the very first time.

And Gin knew that from that moment on his life would be devoted to making her smile. He hadn't cared about life for himself, but maybe he could learn to care about her.

He'd tried to devote himself to a cause before, but it had never worked. Because he hadn't actually cared about how it turned out. And for the first time, he did.

Her smile had been rare in those first few months, but his heart had seemed a little warmer every time something he did brought it out. He remembered taking her to the little house he stayed in, with the apple trees in the yard and the persimmons he'd started growing. He remembered them talking, and how the shy, frightened little girl slowly grew to trust him. To like him. No one had ever liked him before.

Then his memories shifted, and he remembered the first time he'd seen her cry. He hadn't realized at the time just how much those tears would affect his life.

* * *

Part 2: Touch (First)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The moment I saw you cry, I wanted to hold you, I wanted to make it go away

I wanted to know you, I wanted to make your everything, all right...

From "Cry" by Mandy Moore

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Gin sauntered towards home, the bag over his shoulder half-filled with the vegetables he'd spent the afternoon liberating from various places. Now that he had to find enough food for two people, even his skills were being put to the test. But it was nice to have a challenge again. _

_And it was nice to know Ran-chan would be waiting at home for him. Part of the reason life had always been so boring was that he was always alone. No one had ever liked him, no one had ever been willing to hang out with him. Maybe they had all sensed there was something off about him. _

_He didn't know himself what it was, but he knew that he was different. He'd seen other children running around, playing games and laughing with each other despite the fact that their lives should have given them no reason to laugh. He'd seen them stand up for each other, and help each other. _

_He didn't understand why they did it, but he was trying to learn. Maybe if he was more like them, then they'd like him too. _

_So he brought food to Ran-chan, and it made her smile. He told her stories, and listened to hers. He was slowly learning that certain things he could do or say would make her smile as well, or even make her laugh. He didn't smile or laugh himself, still didn't really understand why _she_ did, but there was this… this sort of twisting feeling inside him whenever she smiled. And it was more than he'd ever felt before._

_He turned a corner, almost home now, and unable to understand why his heartbeat had accelerated slightly. Nor did he understand why his heart dropped into his stomach when he heard her scream. Still not understanding, Gin began to run._

_He didn't notice as the bag containing their precious food fell from his shoulder, opening up to allow carrots and peas to scatter over the ground. He didn't see the tiny red-haired boy who darted out of the shadows to grab the food, even though he almost tripped on him. He saw only the door to the house he and Rangiku lived in, and the fact that it stood open. Although it wasn't much protection, she always closed it when he was gone._

_Gin skidded through the door, gripping the frame in both hands to help slow him and turn into the house. What he saw made him freeze briefly, as another feeling he'd never experienced flooded into him, then he charged into the room. _

_He took out one of the boys who had Rangiku cornered before they even knew he was there._

The memory blurred after that.

He knew he'd seen red. He knew his blood had pulsed as he shoved the boys away from her. He knew that when it was done, two of the boys, both limping and battered, had dragged the third away. He had never bothered to find out if that boy had lived or died.

But while it was going on all he had known was that he had to protect her.

And he remembered that as the boys limped away his arms had suddenly been filled with a shaking, crying young girl.

"_Gin, oh god, Gin…" Rangiku cried as she clung to him, her head buried in his chest. It didn't occur to her that in the almost six months they'd been together, she had never deliberately touched him, nor he her. _

_It did occur to Gin, who at first had absolutely no idea what to do with the crying girl currently attached to his chest. _

_The rage, for he'd heard the emotion described and it perfectly described the way he'd felt, had faded away when she touched him. But now he was feeling something else he couldn't describe. And that something made him wrap his arms around her back and hold her close._

"_I've seen them around before, but they were scared of you." Rangiku said in a voice choked with tears. "I think they saw you fight those other boys last week, and… But you weren't here. And… And they…"_

"_Did they 'urt ya, Ran-chan?" Gin pulled her away from him with his hands on her shoulders, looking her over from head to toe. There were bruises on her face, and her lip was cut open and bleeding slightly. Her pants were filthy, evidence of her being pushed down in the dirt, and there was a long tear down the side of her shirt that showed… _

"_I… I'm okay." Rangiku mumbled, confused by how he suddenly turned his face so he wasn't looking at her. Then she glanced down at her clothes, and on a gasp her hands flew up to try and hold closed the long rip in her shirt._

_His hands still on her shoulders, he locked his eyes on hers and started to kneel down. They were still in the corner she'd been driven into, which was also where she normally slept, wrapped in the only blanket they had. _

_They knelt on that blanket now, and Gin reached over by the wall to grab a bag he'd put there just the other day. He'd been collecting scraps of clothing and other fabric for weeks now, knowing that it was going to start getting cold soon. He'd thought that somehow they could make more blankets from the scraps. _

_He reached into the bag now, pulling out the first thing he found, which turned out to be a long, wide piece of pink cotton. He wrapped it gently around her shoulders, and she drew both sides together over her chest, covering the tear in her shirt._

"_I… I know I'll get in the way if I go out with you. But if they come back while you're gone…" Her eyes were huge, tears still shimmering in them, but they were filled with trust. Trust that somehow he would find a way to keep her safe._

_Gin reached out and watched her eyes get even bigger as he trailed a finger lightly over one of the bruises on her face. A single tear fell from one of her eyes, and he wiped it away gently. "Don't ya worry, Ran-chan. I'll teach ya how ta fight." _

And teach her he had, Gin thought with slight pride as he watched her leave her taicho after a few words, and face off against three who looked like women. Although he had taught her well, he watched the fight with concern. For it did not seem like she could win.

And the longer the fight went on, the more concerned he became. If Aizen realized that he was worried about her, however, everything he'd done would be for nothing.

* * *

Part 3: Kiss (First)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Our first kiss won't be the last, our love's too deep to end that fast

And good things come to those who have to wait.

I believe it's only time that keeps us from the thing divine,

and when it's here you know I'm gonna say lay it on my lips!

from "First Kiss" by Mandy Moore

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Although his face showed nothing but it's normal bored smirk, inside Gin was getting more and more worried. She couldn't win this fight on her own, not… Gin was shocked when a reiatsu he'd never expected to feel again was suddenly beside Rangiku. He hadn't expected the owner of this reiatsu to still be alive, certainly hadn't expected her to join the fight.

And the fact that Hinamori-kun, who had been "made so she couldn't live without Aizen," was alive and fighting made him even more sure that Rangiku would do just fine without him.

For he'd done the exact opposite with the woman who loved him that Aizen had. His number one goal had been to make it so she could stand, and live, on her own.

No… that wasn't exactly right, Gin realized as he recalled her standing back to back with her taicho earlier, the same way she now stood with Hinamori. Their fight seemed to be paused for the moment while the three bitches they fought argued amongst themselves.

She had too many friends to ever have to stand alone - what he'd done was try to make sure she could stand without _him_.

Although he did miss the times when he'd been one of those friends who stood with her.

"_Gin." Rangiku knelt beside his sleeping form, her heart beating too fast. "Gin, wake up." She whispered as she grabbed his shoulder and shook him._

_Gin startled awake, hand grabbing for the wooden stick that was always beside his bed. His hand gripped it, yet he froze when he realized it was Rangiku beside him. She leaned down further, putting a hand over his mouth as she whispered in his ear, "I woke up, I wasn't sure why at first. But I heard them in the alley. There's at least five of them, I can feel them."_

_So could he, now that he was awake and aware. _

"_They tried the door, realized we had something jammed against it. They're trying to figure out how to get in." She breathed in his ear, innocent of how her closeness was affecting him._

_Gin sat up, pushing her a little ways away from him so that he could think. There was nowhere to hide in the small house, and the only window opened into the alley not far from the door where the boys were plotting. There was a back door, the door into the yard, but if there were more of them back there…_

_His thoughts trailed off when she reached past him, gripping the second stout stick that lay beside his bed. The one she used when they trained together._

"_You can't take five by yourself." She whispered, her eyes trailing over to the corner she slept in, where her clothes lay neatly folded beside her rumpled blanket. On top of them was the scrap of pink fabric he'd once wrapped around her, the fabric she'd turned into a scarf she always wore. It reminded her of the night he'd wrapped both it and his arms around her, and made her feel safe. That had been almost a year ago. "I remember everything you've taught me."_

_Gin considered the situation quickly, weighing in the determination in her eyes. He might be able to take five by himself, but if he failed… _

"_If they take me down, run." He said softly as he pushed his blanket away and gripped the stick he held with both hands. _

"_Somehow I don't think you'll be running if I fall." Rangiku replied as she gripped her own stick more firmly._

"_Not the same." Gin replied. "I don't care if I die, but if you do…"_

"_But if you die who'll protect me?" _

_It wasn't said with cunning or anger, but with real fear behind it. Fear that Gin never wanted to hear in her voice. He nodded, and they both rose to face the door just as it began to shudder. The boys outside had obviously decided they didn't need to be subtle._

"_It's not like when we're one on one." He said hurriedly even as he allowed her to step up beside him, noticing that even though her eyes showed fear she held the stick the way he'd taught her, angled to protect her body. Her feet were shoulder width apart, one slightly forward, her weight balanced on the balls of her feet so she could move quickly. _

"_We need to keep them separated, take them down as quickly as possible." She breathed, proving that she did indeed remember everything he'd taught her. "If they come all at once, go for knees, legs. Heads. Take them out of the fight till we have time to deal with them."_

"_Follow my lead." Gin said with a nod to show her that her words had been correct. The accent he'd been affecting for years because he liked it was completely forgotten. It had been forgotten the moment he woke and saw fear on her face, but it was only now that he noticed it. He didn't know if she'd noticed or not, but at the moment it didn't really matter. "I'll try to at least hurt them, make sure not more than one comes at you at a time. Watch my back. Don't let them surround me."_

_Rangiku nodded as she shifted her stick to her right hand, her left arm hanging loose at her side, ready to block, or to strike. Her voice was grim as she replied, "If I take down more than you, I want a present." _

"_If you take down more than me, you'll have earned it." Gin said just as grimly._

A sudden rise in her reiatsu pulled him out of his memories, and he watched as her fight began again. Although even with Hinamori at her side, he wasn't sure she could win.

His hand slid towards Shinso, and he wondered if he would be able to get out of the ring of fire the soutaicho had cast. Because if she died in this fight, then everything he'd done was pointless.

He knew her well enough to see the fear hiding behind the courage in her eyes, and even though part of him continued to watch the fight, the rest of his mind flew back to the past.

"_I so deserve that present." Rangiku said with a smirk as the last of the bullies ran off into the night. _

_Two were still unconscious on the floor, and between the two of them they managed to drag them out onto the street. Not really caring what happened to them, they left them there, then worked in tandem as they closed and re-blocked the door, then picked up the small overturned table. Rangiku saw a glint on the floor as she moved, and moved closer to the window to pick up the silvery chain that lay beneath it._

"_It must'a fallen off one of 'em." Gin commented, and when she didn't remark on the change in his accent he assumed she either hadn't noticed or didn't care. _

"_To the victor go the spoils." She quoted, her voice no longer low and intense as it had been before the fight. _

_She seemed almost happy, and as he continued to study her face he noted both pride and confidence on it. She had indeed been helpful, he realized. Not only had she not gotten in his way, but she'd kept him from being surrounded. One of the two unconscious boys they had dragged out had been knocked out by her, and as he ran through his memories of the fight he realized that there were at least two times where she had kept them from jumping him from behind. _

"_You did good, Ran-chan." He said quietly, moving towards the bucket of water they always kept in the corner. His throat was so dry._

"_Th…thank you." _

_She said it softly, and as he raised the dipper from the bucket to drink he couldn't help but look back at her. She stood in the wash of moonlight from the window, looking more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. Her face was pinched in concentration as she studied the chain she'd found, and her skin still held a light sheen of sweat from the fight. _

_And when her face took on a peevish look the words left his mouth before he was even aware he'd thought them, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"_

_She froze. "What?"_

_Gin coughed. "I said, what's wrong, Ran-chan?"_

_Although her face flickered through several expressions he wasn't able to recognize, it finally settled into a slight smile in an otherwise blank face. It was what he called her 'happy mask,' and it was the face she wore when she didn't want him to know if something was bothering her. _

_Then that melted away as well, and a look of childish annoyance bloomed on her face. It was a look that perfectly fit her features, at least from what little Gin remembered from when he'd been human, but it was odd to see on the face of someone he knew had been in Rukangai for almost 19 years. The fact that she looked about 12 notwithstanding. _

"_There's no clasp. It must have broken. I want to wear it, but…" Rangiku mumbled, believing she must have heard him wrong the first time. She'd heard what she wanted to hear. _

_Because it was stupid to think that he thought of her the same way she did of him. He treated her like a little sister, and as she remembered having several older brothers when she was alive Rangiku knew exactly what she was talking about. Every once and a while she'd think she saw something else in his eyes when he looked at her, but he so rarely showed any emotion that it was difficult to tell. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't have emotions the way other people did._

_Gin moved over to his corner of the room, and she heard the scraping of wood on wood as he shifted one of the boards in the wall of the house. When he came back to her, one hand was behind his back, and he wordlessly held out his other hand for the chain._

_Rangiku dropped the chain into his hand, her head tilted in curiosity._

_Gin turned his back on her as he studied the chain, noting that the clasp was indeed gone. But the end where it had ripped off still held a link larger than the rest of those on the chain, and was bent open. It should be just big enough to fit… _

_Gin opened the hand he had fisted, and looked at the large silver ring he held. He'd found it at least a dozen years ago and hadn't known what to do with it, but had kept it for some reason, even though he'd kept almost nothing else of the spoils he'd had access to over the years. Now he attached it to the large link at the end of the chain and used his fingers to press that link closed. _

_Turning back to Rangiku, he reached over her head to put the chain around her, then pulled the one end of it through the ring he'd attached. He continued to pull on the end of the chain until the ring was nestled in the hollow below her throat, and the chain trailed into the V-shape left by her yukata. "You'll have ta be careful, it might fall, but…"_

_Her hand caught his as he pulled it back, and she kept their hands linked as she adjusted the chain until she could see the ring when she glanced down. "It's beautiful." _

"_Well, ya said you wanted a present." Gin replied, his throat dry despite the water he'd just gulped. Her eyes shifted up from her new necklace when he spoke, and he found himself unable to look away from what he saw in them._

_Gin forgot about everything. He forgot about the boys who had attacked them. He forgot about the whispers he'd been hearing on the streets that a couple of the Shinigami had been seen in the woods the other night doing strange things. He forgot about the fact that no one had ever liked him. He forgot about how lonely he always was. _

_For the moment, there was only Rangiku. Only the girl who looked at him with affection in her eyes. The girl whose lips were only inches from his. Without thought he leaned down slightly and laid his lips over hers._

_Rangiku's breath hitched as he kissed her, but she didn't try to push him away. Instead, the hand that had been holding her own necklace turned tentatively and rose to rest on his shoulder. _

_Gin slid his arms around her, pulling her unresisting body flush with his as he deepened the kiss. It felt so right to hold her. To have her pressed against him. _

_And when he had to pull away to breath, he rested his head against her forehead. And seeing both arousal and confusion in her eyes, he managed to say, "I'm sorry. I… I shouldn't have done that. I… I forgot not to…"_

_Rangiku had only smiled that smile that lit up her entire face. "If I'd known that was what it would take, I would have put us in danger and then proceeded to kick ass months ago."_

Gin was jerked roughly out of his memory as he felt the sudden drop in her reiatsu, and his heart stopped beating as her side was sliced open and she began to fall towards the ground.

TBC…

* * *

AN2: This is both an odd style of writing for me, as I rarely do memories in this way, as well as my first try at doing POV: Gin. (Not that I'm really writing him the way he's generally written though, lol) Also, one of the things that always bothers me in fiction is when I'm reading a memory that somehow has more than one perspective in it. As these are Gin's memories, he should not know what Rangiku is thinking or feeling. But I'm used to writing in 3rd person omniscient with a mix of kinda-first person, and I really wanted to play with Ran a bit more. Sorry if it seemed weird to anyone. If you didn't notice: I win! I made you care enough about the story that the technical details of writing didn't matter. Anyways…

Please, please, please, let me know what you think.


	2. First and Last

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I am making no money from this. I also do not own any of the quotes I use in any chapter.

Author's Notes: Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed chapter 1, it means so much to me to know that people are enjoying this. I'm very happy that people are liking my characterization of Gin, it was really hard for me to get into his head, especially since even knowing his motives I can't really understand how he thinks, as I kinda think he might be a borderline sociopath. But his reasons for what he did do make it somewhat easier cause I just love writing romance.

Oh, and as you may have noticed, I'm not exactly sure how to write his accent, so I'm kinda just tossing some weird word choices and odd contractions in, cause that seems easiest. (although my spellchecker kept changing them to the actual words till I had to turn it off, lol)

* * *

For Her Smile

By Lady Callista

Chapter 2: First and Last

* * *

Part 4: Love (First)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Baby I'm not who I was, you gave me your love and it woke me up, Made me more aware of somethin' deep inside, somethin' that I have, A life I want to share, and I'll remember this as long as I live. Every note, every word, every single kiss

From "My First Love Song" by Luke Bryan

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

In the eternity it seemed to take for her body to fall from the sky, Gin's thoughts went back to the first time he'd had that body under him. And the first time she had whispered the words he had never been able to give back to her.

"_Gin, thank the gods." Rangiku flung herself on the boy as he walked in the door of their house a little after sunrise. _

"_Ran…" Gin wrapped his arms around her automatically and held her for a moment, then pulled back enough to see her face. He raised a gentle hand to trace the shadows under her eyes. "Sorry… I jus' got held up."_

"_It doesn't matter." Rangiku murmured as she leaned up to kiss him. "You're here."_

_Gin kissed her back carefully, thinking of the first time he had kissed her. He hadn't been able to keep it to that one kiss. Not once he had realized she was as attracted to him as he was to her. _

_Rangiku pressed herself closer to him, her fingers running under his shirt to trace the muscles of his lower back. "I love you, Gin." She said breathily as she broke the kiss._

_Gin pulled back enough to stare at her, a dozen confused emotions flickering through him. Uncertain which was showing on his face, Gin looked away from her. "Ran-chan…" He trailed off, unable to give her the words back but unsure what else he could say._

_Rangiku pulled back from him a little more, and had the satisfaction of seeing his shocked eyes snap back to hers as she reached for the knot of the tie securing his gi and began to untie it slowly. _

"_Ran…"_

"_I love you." She repeated. "I don't need the words back. I don't need anything else from you. You've already given me everything. Except for one thing…"_

_Gin's eyes widened in shock at the teasing, flirty tone in her voice. He stared at her, mind whirling, until her soft hands pushing his gi off his shoulders brought him back to his senses. "Ran, I… Are you sure about this?" He couldn't say he didn't want it, couldn't say he hadn't dreamed of touching her, of hearing her say she loved him. _

_He slid another step down the slippery slope of fighting his love for her while at the same time falling even more deeply in love with her. _

_Rangiku ran her hands lightly over his chest, eyes shining as the muscles twitched under her curious fingers. "I've never been more sure of anything." She whispered, then sighed when his hands settled hesitantly on the tie of her own shirt._

"I love you, Gin."

Rangiku's words still echoed sweetly in his head as he was abruptly jerked out of his memories by Rangiku landing safely in a kido net. A moment later an identical net was cast not far away, and he watched the girl who had more a spine that Aizen had ever noticed land safely in it.

Gin felt a momentary surge of pride flow through him as he noticed Kira Izuru was the one who went to the women and both protected and tended them, even as Hisagi began to fight. He had a slightly absent wish that he had ever told his fukutaicho that he was excellent at his job, but it was gone in an instant.

She was going to be okay. That was all that mattered. His Ran-chan was going to be okay.

And knowing she was safe, at least for the moment, Gin's mind continued on the track it had been on. He remembered months of love, and then he remembered the moment he liked to think of as the beginning of the end.

* * *

Part 5: Lie (First)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright

So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

Look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie.

from "Lie" by David Cook

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Where have you been, Gin?" Rangiku asked softly, valiantly trying to keep her voice from showing her relief that he was back. "Gin?" Then she really looked at what he was wearing and could only stare for a moment. "Those are Shinigami clothes. Where did you get them?"_

"_I've decided, I'm going to become a Shinigami." Gin kept his back to her, almost wishing he hadn't come back to the house. He could have just vanished, and she'd never have thought to look for him in Seireitei. _

_But ever since he had seen what it was like in Seireitei he'd made the decision that he couldn't leave her in Rukongai. Although it would have been the perfect way to keep her safe, he wanted her both safe and happy. And even though he wasn't that good at sensing reiatsu yet, it seemed to him like both Rangiku and himself had much more power than most of the rank and file Shinigami he had seen so far. He had trained her as well as he could on his own, but he could tell both of them would be able to get much stronger if they became Shinigami. And stronger was safer._

"_So that it'll end without Rangiku having to cry."_

_Rangiku's eyes widened at the statement, but although her mouth opened and closed several times she didn't seem to know what to say. Finally she turned with a slight shake of her head that reminded him of a bird resettling its feathers. "There's soup in the kettle if you're hungry. I… I ate already. I didn't know if you would come home…"_

_A spurt of panic went through him as she said the word if. "When've I not come home ta ya?"_

_Rangiku spun to face him, and he saw the tears shining in her eyes, although she had yet to allow any to fall. "You used to tell me where you were going. You used to tell me when you'd be back. And I always used to just say 'see you later.' Now I feel like I should be saying goodbye, just in case you don't come back."_

_A single tear trailed down her cheek, and Gin moved to her in a heartbeat and wrapped her stiff form in his arms. No, she couldn't cry. He couldn't do this if she would cry. _

_And that was a lie. His mind whispered the words even as he felt her relax in his embrace and hug him back. _

_No matter what happened, no matter what this Aizen person was up to, the little Gin had learned had given him the impression that this plan would be a long time in coming to fruition. And he'd have to keep his distance from her even more than he was already doing. There might even come a point where he would have to break away from her for her own safety. _

_And that would hurt her. It would make her cry. But in the end she would be happier. _

_A part of Gin's mind told him he shouldn't have hugged her. This would have been the perfect excuse to do exactly what she feared. Just say goodbye and not come back. It would make it easier to stay for longer times with Aizen, or to learn more on the streets, if he didn't know she was home worrying about him._

_But he knew there was no way he could do that. "Ran-chan." He said it quietly as they continued to hold each other._

"_Gin?" Her voice was just as quiet, although there were no longer tears in her voice._

"_Never think that I won't come back. Never say goodbye to me, and I'll never say goodbye to you. I may not always tell you where I am, or what I'm doing, or when I'm coming back. But remember that I'll always come back." He pulled back enough to look into her eyes, although he kept his arms around her._

_His accent had dropped, as it had for only the third time in her memory, and his voice was a strange mix of earnestness and passion. She could see the truth of his words in his eyes, which also for only the third time in her memory were open enough for her to see their amazing blueness._

_Rangiku smiled, for she could do nothing else. "I'll remember. Neither of us will ever say goodbye. And I'll try to not cry anymore."_

_Her smile lit up everything inside him, and caused him to give her a rare, small smile in return. "I think ya should be a Shinigami too. Seems like fun." He managed to keep his voice light and not betray his feelings._

_Because he knew that no matter how he played it she would cry in the end. _

_He knew it was selfish to keep her close to him when he would always have to hide things from her. Always have to lie to her. But he needed her. _

_He needed her because he was afraid that if he didn't see her smile every once and a while, he'd forget what he was fighting for. If he didn't get to hold her, he would go crazy with missing her._

_But most of all he was afraid that without her kiss, without her touch, he would go back to having no feelings about anything. _

_And if it wasn't for her, he might still have joined in with whatever Aizen was doing, because it would have kept him from being bored. Oh, he could tell that Aizen was a bad man who planned to do bad things, but that wouldn't have bothered him before her. He'd never really had what most people called a conscience, never really cared about right or wrong until he'd noticed how she felt about things. _

_He remembered hearing something when he was still alive about how a woman could make a man into… well, a better man. That was certainly true of their relationship. _

_And he would thank her for making him a better man, he would pay her back, in the only way he could. Even if it meant he had to lie to her._

* * *

Part 6: Lie (Last)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

How many times? How many lies? How long you been sneaking?

How long you been creeping around? How many lies?

How many times were you here deceiving?

When I was here believing in you

from "How Many Times, How Many Lies" by The Pussycat Dolls

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

It had seemed such an innocent lie at the time.

Gin hadn't had any idea of just how bad Aizen's plans were, and although he was certainly willing to die for her he hadn't actually expected to have to do so.

He had assumed he would have to betray her in some way or another at some point, and he'd known he would just be compounding one lie onto the next over the years. He'd also known he would have to distance himself from her once they went to the academy, because he never wanted Aizen to learn how he felt about her and use it against him.

Although Gin knew he'd never had the same kind of emotions as other people, for some reason he'd always been really good at reading their reactions. Judging their character. And he had known that Aizen was the kind of person who would do absolutely anything to get whatever it was he wanted.

His mind flashed back from that first lie to the last. The last time he had spoken to her, and he'd had to lie.

"_I wish I could have been your prisoner a while longer. Goodbye, Rangiku." Gin said softly, for her ears alone. He saw the instant spark of pain in her eyes, and knew that she remembered. It was the first time in the over hundred years they'd been together that he'd ever said goodbye to her. She knew what that meant. She knew he was never coming back to her again._

_But he couldn't not say it, because he no longer believed he would get out of this alive. And the cleaner and more painful he made the break, the sooner she would get over him._

_Then, even though he knew it would likely be the last time he spoke to her, he lied. "I'm sorry." _

_As the column of light drew him upwards, Gin reflected on the look on her face. She felt betrayed, and she had every right to feel that way. He could see the anger on her face, and regretted that even with all the pain mixed in he couldn't truly be sorry for anything he'd done. _

Although maybe in a way it hadn't been a lie, he reflected as he felt her reiatsu beginning to get stronger as Kira healed her, because he _was_ sorry he'd had to hurt her. Even though in the long run he was sure things would have been worse if he hadn't done what he had, he was still sorry that he had hurt his Ran-chan.

His trademark smirk on his face, Ichimaru Gin stood in a ring of fire on the right hand of a man he hated and had only one regret. That was that with all the lies he had told her over the years, he had never told her one specific truth. His mind just couldn't stop harping on the fact that he had never been able to say the words she most wanted to hear.

* * *

Part 7: Love (Last)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

I know you want to hear me say "I love you,"

but I just want you to feel my overflowing emotions.

from "Kotoba" (Words) by Nagayama Takashi

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Gin had no interest in watching any of the battles around him, it didn't really matter to him who died in those fights. And as Rangiku was still safe inside a barrier, and being healed, he continued to allow his mind to wander back to the past.

He went further back this time from that final lie, that final touch, his brain whispered to him, and he had to stop and order himself to keep his focus. That final lie, and the fact that it would have been his last chance to say the words she most wanted to hear, made his mind flash back to the last time she had said it to him.

_Last night had been the last time they would ever sleep together. _

_Gin had slid out of her bed without waking her well before the sun rose, with only one thought echoing through his head. The thought that although she hadn't known it, it would be the last time. The last time they'd have sex. The last time they'd sleep in the same bed, wrapped around each other and able to forget about everything else for just a few hours. The last time they would kiss. _

_Aizen's plans would culminate within 24 hours, and if Kurosaki acted as planned Gin and the men who thought he was their friend and companion would be revealed as traitors to all, and escape to Hueco Mundo to set up their own kingdom. And to further Aizen's plans. _

_Plans that had finally come to the point where he would have to leave Rangiku for good. It was the time for the part of the plan he had always known would come, and had dreaded. _

_Within 24 hours he would say goodbye to the woman he loved and could never tell. She hadn't said it the night before, which he was grateful for. They were both accustomed to him not saying it back, but his emotions had been insane enough the night before that if she'd said it while he was inside her he was almost certain he would have said it back. _

_But she hadn't. _

_And he had escaped in the morning before she could wake. Before he could see those clear blue eyes open and look at him with love. Before she could reach for him. Before she could cuddle all warm against him, wrapping herself around him, and…_

"_Gin." _

_The breathy voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and Gin looked up from his desk, where he was pretending to do work while he thought of her. "Hey, Ran-chan. What's up?" _

"_N..not much." Rangiku said quietly, her face the slightly cheerful mask she normally wore. She took a few steps into the office and lowered her voice, even though the outer office had been empty. "You normally wake me before you leave."_

"_Had lotsa work." Gin said quietly, although he did set his quill down and give her his full attention. He didn't know exactly how things were going to go down, and for all he knew this could be the last time he would talk to her. Although he told himself once again, as he had so many times over the years, that it would be better for her if he made her mad it him, if he distanced himself from her, he couldn't make himself do it. He had never been able to make himself do anything to push her away. _

"_And here I was hoping we could have a little more fun this morning." Rangiku's face changed, her mask moving away and real mischief showing on her face. Her eyes twinkled as she took a step closer to him._

_His resolve almost shattered, for he had made himself believe last night was the last time, and now maybe he could touch her again. But what if that 'only one more' was the one that broke him? That made him unable to…_

_He wasn't certain if he should be grateful or not when the outer door opened, and his 6th__ seat, who was manning the outer desk that day, walked in. _

_Her eyes showing disappointment at the interruption, Rangiku locked her eyes on his and more mouthed than whispered, "I love you."_

_Gin managed to make his mouth twitch in reply, as he always did, and the heart anyone who had known him as a young child wouldn't believe he had broke in half. _

_He managed to keep the slight smirk on his face as a sad resignation came into her eyes, and bit his lip to keep from calling out to her as she turned and slowly left his office._

_Saying it back could have ruined everything. And besides, he knew that within 24 hours she would regret each and every time she'd said it to him. He knew that she would never again look at him with love in her eyes._

TBC….


	3. Last

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I am making no money from this. I also do not own any of the quotes I use in any chapter.

Author's Notes: Ah, the end. Finally.

* * *

For Her Smile

By Lady Callista

Chapter 3: Last

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more

I would fight for you - I'd lie for you

Walk the wire for you…"

from "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams

OoOoOoOoOoO

Part 8: Kiss (Last)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

If this is the last kiss, let's make it last all night. If this is the last time I'm ever,

Ever gonna hold you, let me hold you tight till the morning light.

If this is the last time…Ooh we'll ever be together.

Kiss me and baby give me something.

Tender to remember you by.

from "If This is the Last Kiss" by Meat Loaf

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Why are you here this time?" Rangiku asked even as she gasped at the way his hands were trailing over her body. _

_He'd more or less jumped her the instant she let him in the door, and both were nearly naked already and sprawled over the entrance floor. She hadn't spoken at first, and he'd prayed she wouldn't. He felt desperate for her touch. He knew he didn't have much time left before he'd have to leave her forever._

_His hands cupped her breasts, decades of experience guiding them to quickly arouse her even as he continued to nibble on her lips. He was nearly convinced that he'd distracted her enough when she asked again, gentle still but slightly more firmly._

"_Why?"_

"_When 'ave we e're need'd a reason, Ran-chan?" He couldn't make himself drop his accent, he'd been using it for so long it was almost more real than affectation by now. But he spoke to her softly, his voice serious. He'd only ever once spoken to her like this before, and it had been the first time they made love. It seemed appropriate for the last time, even though she might never realize what he was doing here tonight. _

_Why?_

_Gin was here because he needed to be with her one last time, needed one last memory of all he was fighting for. _

_And because it was the only way he could say goodbye._

Without warning, the ring of fire around the three former taicho winked out. Gin managed to keep his smirk on his face, and after sliding his eyes briefly to Tosen and exchanging the barest nod, the two of them each took a shunpo in opposite directions and entered the fight.

* * *

Part 9: Touch (Last)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Somewhat visible, yet invisible, woman's heart.

Somewhat visible, yet invisible, man's heart.

from "Bengara Koushii" in the Bleach musicals

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Gin tried to check on Rangiku one last time as he joined the fight, and nearly panicked to discover that she was no longer within the protective kido.

The rush of adrenaline that coursed through him caused him to misjudge slightly as he shot Shinso out towards a small blond girl wearing pigtails, and he hit her harder than he meant to. There was barely a moment of regret before Gin shunpo'd away from the spot just as Kira tried to engage him.

He'd planned on trying not to hurt anyone too badly, not because he cared about them at all but because he knew losing her friends would make Rangiku sad. But how many of them got hurt didn't matter in the slightest if he couldn't find her and make sure she was still alive.

But he couldn't let her get close to him, because he knew she would fight him if she could. In fact, she was probably trying to find him.

That thought was confirmed a second later when he sensed her approaching, and he shot Shinso out to his left, not even bothering to identify whose reiatsu he felt there, before he shunpo'd halfway across the battlefield and away from her, although he kept his senses on her. She froze for an instant, smart enough to check her surroundings and make sure no attack was imminent, before he felt her reiatsu flare and she headed in his direction again.

Gin vanished, and he felt her track and follow.

Gin felt his frustration rise as this repeated for several minutes, yet the frustration turned to shock and fear when her reiatsu suddenly vanished. Gin sent out his reiatsu desperately as he moved around the battlefield, shooting Shinso half-heartedly at several of the Vizard and Shinigami as he passed them by. Where was she?

Gin stopped for an instant near the edge of the battlefield, not far from where Konamura's huge bankai stood in guard position. He scanned the field desperately, even as Kyoraku's back got close enough for him to prepare to shoot Shinso out at the man.

And then he froze, release command on his lips, as she suddenly flashed into existence no more than ten feet in front of him, looking more pissed-off than he had ever seen. Before he could consciously react, he felt himself whisper, "Ran-chan."

She froze with Haineko half raised.

Gin felt the reiatsu flash in behind him, but couldn't stop looking into her eyes. Just another second…

Then Kira was on him, and Gin raised Shinso protectively to defend himself, still seeing the hurt behind the anger in Rangiku's eyes, and he forgot about everything but her for a split second. He forgot about the special ability of his fukutaicho's zanpakuto.

Even when he remembered after the first block, he blocked the second as well, feeling Shinso grow heavy in his hands. Not that it mattered to him, as his bankai could make the blade insubstantial and therefore weightless, and Kira was close enough that he could hold the weight for long enough to get off that fatal attack…

But his fukutaicho and his love were good friends, he and couldn't imagine the pain it would cause her to see him cut her friend down that way… She would attack him with a vengeance… He couldn't hurt her… And if she had to kill him herself…

Gin slid back into his dreams as he allowed Shinso to fall, and the last thing he saw as he allowed his eyes to slid shut was Wabisuke flashing towards his head.

He'd been thinking of the last time they'd slept together, kissed. The last time she said she loved him. But now his thoughts returned to the last lie he'd told her, when his mind had tried to remind him it was also the last time he'd touched her.

_It wasn't romantic, true. But although she held a blade to his throat, her arm was around him. Her body pressed tightly against his own. Gin had hoped she wouldn't show up at the hill, or that she would be too shocked to touch him if she did._

_He should have known his Rangiku would go straight for him. _

_Wishing that he could touch her in return, wishing that he could kiss her one last time, wishing that he could tell her he loved her, but more than anything wishing that he could see her smile at him one last time, he remained frozen in her embrace. _

_He soaked in as much of her touch and presence as he could, for he knew it was the last time. Up until now, he'd been able to go to her, able to remind himself why he was doing what he was doing. But he would have to do the rest of this alone._

Gin's memories of the past shattered as he hit the ground, and a glance up assured him that Kira had gone to check on Rangiku and that neither of them looked as if they would approach him. Neither seemed to want to deliver the final blow. Not that it mattered, Gin realized as he sensed how injured his body was. He would die soon anyway.

He had wanted to last longer and somehow let someone know, without giving himself away, the information that he had. But maybe him dying would be enough. He could sense Tosen fighting, and knew that if the few Shinigami and Vizards who were still well enough to fight could manage to kill him as well, they would have a shot at Aizen.

Aizen had known there were points in his transformation where he would be weak and almost defenseless, and it had been the plan for Tosen and Gin to distract the enemy from him during those times and to protect him if they had to. If he didn't have them…

With no warning Hitsugaya Toshiro suddenly stood over him, Hyorinmaru pressed against his throat. Anger had turned his teal eyes to hard, sparkling emeralds, but there was something else in his eyes as well that Gin couldn't place.

Gin closed his eyes and prepared for death, knowing that unlike Kira or Rangiku, the young prodigy would have no problem killing him. In fact, he remembered the boy taicho swearing to kill him if Hinamori was hurt…

"You could have killed both my fukutaicho and your own." Hitsugaya said quietly.

Gin's eyes snapped open to their normal slits, and although Gin could still see the anger in the boy taicho's eyes, there was confusion there as well.

"You never even went bankai. And the few attacks you did make on people were not killing blows. Why?"

Gin cursed the prodigy for being both too close to his final fight, and too observant. He almost ignored the question, almost ignored the boy entirely, but his thoughts came back to the fact that he hadn't planned on dying this early in the fight. He had information they could use, if he could find a way to get the boy to believe him. All he had to do was convince one of the people in Seireitei who hated him the most that he had actually been doing his best all along to thwart Aizen.

His thoughts drifted back to Hinamori Momo, remembering the look in Hitsugaya's eyes when he'd said he would kill him if anything happened to her.

And Gin knew there was hope.

Ignoring the zanpakuto at his throat, Gin turned his head a little until he looked directly at Hitsugaya and allowed his eyes to open fully.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened in shock as he looked into blue eyes few had ever seen. Eyes that burned with honesty and love as their gaze flicked about twenty feet to the right of and behind him, then returned to meet his own.

"Why?" Although he'd affected his accent for so long it was second nature, the teasing tone that was always in Gin's voice was gone. "For her. Ev'rythin was for her."

Hitsugaya didn't look back, obviously knowing who Gin was talking about, but disbelief flashed across his face.

"Ya told me once you'd kill me if Hinamori-chan was hurt. You'd kill for 'er. What if that wasn't what was needed? Would ya die for 'er too, Shiro-chan? If somethin only you could do would let 'er live a longer, happier life, what would ya do? Would you give up ev'rythin for her? E'en if it made everyone hate you, e'en if she'd ne'er know, would ya die if it meant she could be happy?"

"I would." Hitsugaya said without hesitation. "I almost did."

"And o'er a hundred years ago, I came to the same conclusion."

* * *

Part 10: Smile (Last)

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Don't know how I lived without you, cause every time that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

from "Smile" by Uncle Kracker

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hitsugaya Toshiro knelt beside the dying man, his zanpakuto still pressed firmly against his throat. Although something in the man's voice made him want to believe the words he was saying.

"If you knew all along, you should have just told everyone." Hitsugaya replied, knowing Ichimaru didn't just mean he'd recently decided not to side with Aizen. The man was saying that he'd never actually been on Aizen's side, that he had been pretending this entire time. And he was claiming he had done it all for Matsumoto Rangiku.

"Cause that worked out so well for the former taicho of the niibantai and the juuniibantai." The teasing tone came back to Gin's voice along with a trace of sarcasm.

Thinking of how both Urahara and Yoruichi had been exiled for seeing the truth when everyone else was lost in Aizen's illusions, Hitsugaya conceded the point with a nod.

"I don't know how ta defeat Kyoka Suigetsu, 'at was the one answer I ne'er found. That would've been my only chance ta keep things from gettin this far. But with Kurosaki you all've still got a chance."

There were a dozen questions Hitsugaya wanted to ask, but he could feel Ichimaru's reiatsu fading. He knew whatever Ichimaru had to tell him was too important to be interrupted. Although the thought that this was just another trick floated through his mind, he discarded the thought almost immediately. Because Ichimaru actually being on their side explained some of his past actions that Hitsugaya had never been able to make sense of.

"Aizen'll begin transforming soon, it'll look and feel like the Arrancar during their Resurrections. It'll seem like 'e is more powerful than e'er, but he's actually the weakest while he's changin. That's when ya can beat him." Gin paused to cough up blood, and although the boy made no move to help him, the zanpakuto at his throat did ease back enough for him to turn his head and spit out the blood. "The Hyogaku… it… it has its own will. It craves power and strength. Ya don't have ta destroy it. Just make it pick someone else."

Unvoiced was that the one it would have to choose over Aizen was Kurosaki. Not only was he currently stronger than any of the other Shinigami, who were all worn down and injured from the fighting, but he was the only one unaffected by Aizen's illusions.

Hitsugaya processed the information, wondering if they could really trust the deputy Shinigami that much. Then he realized it didn't really change anything.

Kurosaki was the only one who could defeat Aizen anyway cause of his damned zanpakuto, he just had a better shot at it now. If he knew when to strike, and if he knew there might be a way to get the Hyogaku to choose to help him…

Although the fact that he could beat Aizen and then turn into a bad guy himself had to be considered, there was really no other choice. The Hyogaku was absolute power, and absolute power corrupted…

No.

Even with all the power Kurosaki had gained, and even at the insanely quick rate he'd gained it, he had never been corrupted by it. He still fought to help others, to protect and defend…

Well, if it did happen, they would have to deal with it, but… But first the boy had to get back from Hueco Mundo.

"Ran-chan."

It was barely a whisper, but Hitsugaya pulled himself out of his thoughts to look down at Ichimaru as he coughed up more blood. The man's reiatsu was almost gone. It wasn't in him to forgive Ichimaru for his actions, even knowing the reasons behind them. But he could give him one last thing. "Let me call her over. She'll want to know. To be with you."

"NO!" Gin's face regained it's strength for a moment, and when he spoke again it was without accent, and in a more serious tone than he'd ever spoken. "I don't want her to feel guilty. I don't want her to blame herself for my death. I want her to hate me, and get over me, and be happy. In my place, would you want _your_ girl to know?"

Momo wasn't his girl, not the way Ichimaru meant it, but he understood. Still, he had to say something. "She'll be happy knowing you didn't betray her. Happy you weren't really on Aizen's side."

"And the guilt and the blame will eat her alive." Gin insisted. "I want her happy, and she won't be if my death and sacrifice are always in her thoughts. Please, just… just tell her I'm sorry."

"That's all you want me to say?"

Gin thought of the one thing he'd never said to her, and figured what the hell. It would probably make it take her longer to get over him, but he couldn't die without it being said. "Tell her I…" His smirk came back slightly, and his eyes closed to their normal position. "Tell her that the words I never said to her, well, tell her to consider them said."

"I never liked you, never trusted you." Hitsugaya said quietly as he stood and slid Hyorinmaru into the sheath on his back. "I always wondered what she saw in you. I think maybe I know now."

Eyes open to their customary slits, Gin watched as Hitsugaya walked away from him and over to Rangiku. The two began to speak quietly, and Gin cursed how insightful the boy taicho was.

He hadn't done what he did to be a hero, he hadn't done it for himself, and he hadn't done it for any of the other Shinigami who would now be saved by it. He had done it all for her. But the only way it would work was if she never knew.

Unable to hear what was being said, Gin put all his concentration into watching the face of the woman he loved. And prayed that the boy genius understood why it had to be this way.

OoO

"He asked me to tell you he was sorry." Hitsugaya said quietly as he stepped up beside his fukutaicho, no emotion in his voice.

"Is that all?" Despite the dozens of conflicting emotions raging through her, Matsumoto Rangiku's voice was equally inflectionless.

Now a note of slight curiosity entered her taicho's voice. "He says that… Those words he never said to you, consider them said."

Rangiku smiled in spite of herself, and after only a few seconds that smile morphed into a single hysterical giggle. She clamped a hand over her mouth, knowing that if she didn't stop giggling instantly one of two things would happen. Either she would never stop laughing, or the laughter would slip into never-ending tears.

OoO

Gin could tell by her face as he watched that Hitsugaya was saying only what he'd asked him to. He wasn't telling her the truth.

And when, just for an instant, her face broke into a smile that made her eyes shine with happiness, both joy and relief flowed into him. He finally allowed his eyes to slide shut, a slight smile gracing his own lips.

"Goodbye, Ran-chan." Keeping the image of her smile in his mind, Gin used his last breath to whisper for the first, and last, time words he had never been able to say out loud to her. "I love you."

OoO

Rangiku closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, then said quietly, "Anything else?"

For a moment Toshiro considered telling her the truth, but damned if that fox bastard hadn't made a good point. And it was very hard to ignore the dying request of a man who had given his life to defeat an evil man that no one else would ever know he had been working against.

His face blank, Hitsugaya Toshiro, taicho of the juubantai, lied to his fukutaicho for the first time. And if he could help it, the last time. "No, that was all."

With no visible reaction other than a brief nod, Rangiku turned her back on both him, and the body of her lover, and slowly limped away. She made it less than a dozen paces before she fell to her knees, her body wracked with sobs.

She felt her taicho shunpo away, grateful that he didn't try to comfort her. She knew he was returning to the battle, and knew she probably should as well, but just couldn't make herself care at the moment.

To her surprise it was Hinamori Momo who came to her. Momo who, although she was still weak and wounded herself, wrapped her arms around her. "I know how you feel."

And although Rangiku could have argued against that statement on several different levels, she simply took comfort from her friend's arms.

And even knowing he was dead, and knowing that if he'd still been alive he would have been too far away for him to hear her, Rangiku couldn't stop herself from whispering, "I love you too, Gin."

OoOoOoOoOoO

"…I'd die for you. Ya know it's true,

Everything I do - I do it for you."

from "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams

OoOoOoOoOoO

THE END

* * *

Author's Notes: Wow, uh, could I be more depressing? But I still love it. Feedback is loved almost as much as new chapters of Bleach. (I keep hoping they will stop sucking.) Hopefully now my muse will allow me to write my other fics, especially I'll Stand By You, as I know lots of people are waiting for it. And now that I know how Ichigo defeats Aizen in my series, I can do so much more with that story.


	4. Between Sleep & Awake and announcement

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I am making no money from this. Tite Kubo owns all, I'm just playing with them for a while.

_AM: For those won't read through the end of the AN2: The newest story in this series is called "Until the Last Breath," and is currently being posted. It's mostly IchiHime, but has all the couples from the series, and has parts that focus only on those other characters. The reason this announcement is going up here is that a few of the chapters of the story are very Gin/Ran. (As in she finally finds out the one thing Gin never wanted her to know.) You could also check out "Ghost Within Your Eyes," which although it is technically a ByaRan story expands upon the story of Rangiku finding out what Gin didn't want her to know. And now please enjoy this bonus chapter before checking out UtLB and/or GWYE._

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Bonus Chapter: Between Sleep and Awake 

_OoOoOoOoO_

"_You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." _

_Tinkerbell in "Hook"_

_OoOoOoOoO_

Ears still ringing from Unohana-taicho's lecture about how much damage shunpooing around the battlefield in her current condition had done to her, Matsumoto Rangiku lay curled up in her bed. There was only one other reiatsu in the room, and it was the heavy, comforting presence of her best friend.

"Are you sure I can't do anything else for you?" Ise Nanao asked as she handed over a black bag, within which was a single item she had smuggled out of the sanbantai taicho's room at Rangiku's desperate request.

"No, _this_ is everything, I… thank you so much!" Rangiku said as she pulled a white article of clothing out of the bag her friend passed to her. And as it fluttered in the slight breeze from the open window the sanbantai insignia could be seen waving proudly in the breeze.

"Ran-chan." Nanao said quietly, "I can't claim to fully understand how you feel, but… I know you better than anyone. If you need to talk about anything, no matter the hour…"

"Thank you, Nanao-chan." Rangiku said softly. "I may take you up on that in the coming weeks, but for now I would just like to be alone. I plan on joining everyone in what I'm certain will be week-long celebration tomorrow, but for now I just want to be alone. Because he is all I can think of right now, and…"

"Are you sure?" Nanao asked helplessly as her best friend buried her face in a traitor's haori to muffle her sobs.

"Yeah I, uh, I need to be… be, uhm, alone." Rangiku stammered as she hugged Gin's haori more closely to her chest.

Although Rangiku's voice was barely audible through her sobs, and although Nanao hated leaving her best friend sobbing alone, she knew that Rangiku had meant every word she had said, and had known her long enough to know she really would be better if she had some time to herself.

"Remember, no matter the hour, if you need anything… just contact me." Nanao said softly as she flashed off of her friend's porch.

OoOoO

"Ran-chan."

A lilting voice floated on the edge of her consciousness, and Rangiku tossed in her sleep as a few tears trailed out of the corners of her eyes.

"Ran-chan."

The voice grew softer yet somehow more insistent, and Rangiku slid into wakefulness as cool fingers glided over her cheeks and brushed away her tears.

"Were ya dreamin' o' me, Ran-chan?" His voice sounded more sad than she had ever heard him sound.

Rangiku's eyes flew open to find the owner of the soft, lilting voice she loved so well sitting, impossibly, next to her futon. His hand was just retreating from brushing against her cheek.

Rangiku reached out and caught his hand, content for the moment in the fact that just being in contact with him meant he couldn't vanish. Yet she couldn't help her response, "Aren't I still dreaming?'

"Do ya care?" Gin asked softly. "Does it matter?"

"No, no it doesn't." Rangiku whispered as she sat up, his haori falling from her grasp as she threw her arms around him. Her tears flowed freely as she whispered in his ear, "Nothing matters as long as you're here."

Gin's arms came around her in return, holding her gently against him as one of his hands stroked soothingly over her back.

Minutes later they lay together on the futon, curled as closely together as they could manage.

"Did you mean what you had Toshiro tell me?" Rangiku finally broke the silence by asking one of the two questions that were burning in her mind. The main question that she wanted to ask, how he could love her and still do what he had done, was still something she found herself unable to ask.

"Yes." Gin needed no clarification. "I love you, Ran-chan. And I'm sorry I was never able to tell you."

"I've waited so long to hear that." Rangiku whimpered as she started to cry again, "So why couldn't you stay with me?"

Gin ran light kisses over her entire face before his lips finally, lightly, touched her own. "I'm always with you."

The sound Rangiku made was halfway between a choke and a sob. "So you'll be here when I wake up?"

"I'm always _here_." Gin pulled away from her just enough to rest his hand over her heart. "Now, go back to sleep, sweetheart."

Rangiku didn't want to fall asleep, knowing he would be gone when she awoke, yet at his words she felt her eyelids growing heavy.

The last thing she remembered before the world went dark was feeling Gin kiss her as he drew her even more tightly into his arms and then laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. Rangiku remembered snuggling into his chest, and then nothing at all.

OoOoO

"_I love you, Ran-chan."_

It was barely sunrise when she awoke, and for a moment she thought that she could feel his arms around her. She thought that she could hear his voice.

Then Rangiku's eyes slid open as her brain fully engaged, and she found herself alone as she had known she would be.

But instead of being wrinkled and clutched in her arms, Gin's sanbantai taicho haori was laid over her like a blanket. And she could swear that it smelled like him.

_OoOoOoOoO_

"_You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." _

_Tinkerbell in "Hook"_

_OoOoOoOoO_

The End

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AN: You'll obviously get more out of the new story if you read the entire thing, but the RanGin part of "Until the Last Breath" is primarily chaps 7 & 8**. **Well, okay, it's just Ran, cause he's dead and all, but it has her finding out about him dying for her and dealing with it.

Also, if you're okay with Byakuya/Rangiku, please look at another new story, "Ghost Within Your Eyes." It's set years in the future and is ByaRan, but it expands on the parts of their story told in Until the Last Breath, which means it starts with Rangiku finding out that Gin wasn't a traitor, and is about her dealing with it, so has lots of memories of Gin and how she loves him.

And please look forward to my future RanGin one-shot. It will be called "Inside Your Head," and is meant to be read after the UtLB chapters concerning them, although all you really need to know to read it is that she finally found out that he did it all for her, and was never a traitor. It plays well off of this bonus chapter. [And FYI, I will not answer you if you ask me whether he was really there in spirit or not. It's written the way it is because I leave that up to you to decide.]


End file.
